My Family is Anything but Normal and Here are Some Reasons Why

1. My mother is obsessed with cleaning. Everything has to be spotless and if you leave your dishes every once and a while she will put them in your bed.
2. My sister Annelise will not wear the color pink because it ‘clashes with her aura’.
3. My sister Shannon believes one should be able to get an Ecclesiastical endorsement from a tree.
4. My brother believes murder to be a perfectly appropriate topic to discus at the dinner table.
5. My father has a dog bed in his office at BYU.
6. My mother spends an average of 5 days cooking in preparation for any holiday.
7. My Aunt is convinced my mother tied her to a tree when she was ten and if you ever bring it up they start arguing and sometimes fist fight.
8. I just found out that vacuuming everyday and moving the furniture is not normal.
9. The only reason we have cable is for Animal Planet.
10. I am the only one in my family to not have read the complete works of Shakespeare at least 3 times.
11. Over half of my immediate family teaches English.
12. We have a show dog named Kalif and he normally gets more in his Christmas stocking than any of the kids.
13. My sister Shannon dreams of living in a tree in the middle of the Amazon.
14. My father is 53 and can bike 200 miles in 2 days.
15. My father and nephew wore kilts at my sister’s wedding and her husband wore a cowboy hat.
16. We have all been to Europe 5 times and never been to Disneyland.
17. We have had pets by the names of Kalif, Shoki, Bronte (yes like the sisters), Baldrick, Sargon Lord of Septic Death, Ein, and Varmet.
18. My brother has worn bright girls fisherman rain boots everyday for the past month.
19. My mother doesn’t allow us to dip our cookies into milk in public.
20. The first time I ever ditched school was to go see the Prophet.