There are many millions of things in this world that I am afraid I will never understand. I believe one of those things to be attraction. Why are certain people attracted to other kinds of people? Why are we all drawn to certain characteristics in people of the opposite (or same) sex? Is it just a natural instinct to be attracted to someone who is in better shape or may look better than others because we want to pass on good genes? Could it be that people like others that are more aesthetically pleasing just for the luxury? Why do we all like certain things? And why are we also sometime attracted to the exact opposite of what we are? I think at least some of the reason for this is excitement and thrill. I believe most of us don’t like to be with someone who is exactly like us. This takes away some (or a lot) of the excitement. If you had everything in common you really wouldn’t have anything to talk about. For example, I am a dancer and I have dated other dancers in the past and found it much less exciting talking about anything that even remotely related to dance with them. I much prefer telling someone about dance who doesn’t know that much about it, I prefer it even though they might not appreciate how many awards i’ve won or my accomplishments. I believe they will look at it with an eye not tainted by bias or/and an annoying large amount of knowledge about dance. I think that’s what we all want. We all want a someone like a very complicated and amazing book. Once we have it and have read it we understand it for the most part but we keep finding new things through out the book that keeps us coming back for more. Now feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I think we all want a little spontaneity in life.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Attraction
Posted by Lindsay Duerden at 5:23 AM
Labels: Attraction
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2 comments:
Attraction is an interesting topic. It's so hard to know what attracts me to someone.
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received was from a mission friend of mine who said, "When looking for a wife [spouse] look for someone who fills in your gaps." Finding someone opposite from you isn't just about finding something different. It's about finding someone who fills in the voids of your personality.
Of course, there is a limit to how opposite you can be from your significant other. If you can't learn to agree on anything, you'll never really be able to connect on more than a superficial level.
If you look at Marie and I, we do disagree on quite a few things, in a lot of ways we're opposites. However, we do agree on some very important points. We might have very different political views, but we agree almost completely on religion. We might disagree on the best way to spend our time, but we do agree (for the most part) on how to raise our kids.
Then, of course, is the consideration of what attracts me to specific friends. I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about this recently. Honestly what I look for in a friend is pretty simple. I want to surround myself with people that build me up. I want to be around people that I can help build up as well. Loyalty and sense of humor are also traits that I look for.
I know this is a long response, but there's one other thing I want to mention. Everything listed above is logical reasoning about what is "attractive." But attraction rarely has much to do with logic. At the end of the day, attraction boils down to that feeling in your gut when you see someone. Thank goodness, that's the only way an ugly guy like me was able to land someone as beautiful as Marie!
Now, now, Nate . . . you are extremely attractive, and I wasn't the only one saying it. I agree with everything that Nate wrote . . . In addition, my mom always said to look for someone who brings out your best self. I think that's important for spouses and friends. Nate is the kind of person who helps me see past my flaws to see the good within me and to emphasize it.
I'm convinced that physical attraction is totally fleeting. Within minutes, if people don't have more than just a pretty face to back it up, they are no longer attractive in my book.
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